Thursday, August 22, 2002


Okay, so Wednesday night Bill comes to pick me up at my house, he's 10 minutes late. He comes to my door, my 7 year old brother answers and Bill asks if I'm there, he's wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. He looks -amazing- in a black t and blue jeans. *Smiles* anyway, he smiles at me and leads me out to the car and much to my surprise OPENS the door for me!

So we're going to Colosses, this UFO looking Movie theatre with a bar on the top floor, I've never been there but aparently its really good. So we're driving there through the back roads of buttfuck idaho when the car starts to smoke and a huge bang comes from the engine. We FLY out of the car as the smokes starts to fill itself with foul smelling smog. Anyway, it wont start... We're in the middle of nowhere... corn fields as far as the eye can see. I laugh hystercially, the situation just so called for it. We end up walking 4 miles to a gas station and we buy some oil and water to cool the car off long enough for us to get -somewhere-. So we hop back in the car after a couple of hours walking and talking. He admits he's attracted to me more than just friends, I admit the same thing. So we laugh, chitter chatter and the night's gone by. We decide to try and ride the shit box of a car as far as we can, close to where we live. It makes it to a central bus station and it's about 11pm at night at this point. Just me and him in the parking lot now, we talk a little more and he offers to give me money to take a cab home. I refuse and smile at him, I tell him I've had a great time dispite the set backs...

My cab arrives and I turn to him, after he's appologised for the night a million times and promised he'd make it up to me any way he could I just simply give him a huge hug... And my god, he felt so nice. So... warm. I was in la la land from that point on, the entire cab ride home all I could think about was how good he felt.

So I go in to work today and Lija, a good friend of mine who works there also, she asks me for my street adress and I thought nothing of it until later that night then I begged her to tell me why she needed it. She -refused- right out and would NOT tell me. So I laughed and wondered all night. I come home to 12 long stem roses, a teddy bear with angel wings and a patch on it's belly that says "Friends Forever" plus a little card that read [I hope this starts to make it up to you for last night] Signed William. I almost died... No one has ever done anything like that for me ever. I could cry with joy! What a fucking sweet heart... *smiles* Amazing, simply amazing.

I'm thinking of asking him tomorrow when I see him at work if he wants to come over to my house this weekend with his kids during the day and at night if he wants to watch Lord Of The Rings with me... All cuddled up cozy in my bed. *grins*

I'm scared though, I must admit... As great as this feels, as he feels... I'm scared of loving and losing again. But I'll never know unless I take the risk, right? Wish me luck.